end of the year wrap-up ⭒ 2023

 

☆ Total Word Count: 99,756

☆ Total Fics Written: 22

☆ Fandoms Written In: formula 1, tomorrow x together, seventeen

Chronological List

☆ january: hourglass - svt, 1391w 

☆ april: over again - svt, 12441w 

☆ may: sunshine machine - txt, 7735w ⭒ bittersweet - svt, 9814w, chaptered/ongoing

☆ june: a mix of light pink and me - svt, 4361w 

☆ july: i find it dizzying - svt, 3406w ⭒ splinters of time - svt, 6850w ⭒ show me how - svt, 1545w 

☆ august: riles me right up - svt, 1368w

☆ september: in plain sight - f1, 2995w ⭒ i have what you want - f1, 1207w ⭒ time will tell - svt, 3003w ⭒ hands on - f1, 1797w 

☆ october: bent the truth too far tonight - svt, 2571w ⭒ lookin’ at me all– - f1, 2705w ⭒ cherry - svt, 1643w 

☆ november: symptom relief - f1, 2468w ⭒ glowing with uncertainty - f1, 2538w

☆ december: shaking blind and hazy - svt, 2781w  ⭒ got me started - f1, 1714w ⭒ dancing on quicksand - f1, 3361w ⭒ tell me if you want me too - f1, 19416w, chaptered/ongoing

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? If you predicted anything.

less, for sure, but also—not? all of the words from last year resulted in burnout, so i’m not necessarily surprised that i wrote about 80k less. i’m not sure what i was expected word count-wise (considering how much smaller my average wc per fic was, this year) but i was pleasantly surprised when i took a look at my statistics. 

i still hoped i would continue writing regularly, especially after falling back in love with it, so i’m happy to say i didn’t enter any major—major—writer’s block periods. definitely felt it a bit during january-april, though; writing felt like eating glass without any teeth during that time. but everything i’ve put out (minus one (1) fic) i am proud of, which i think is what matters most. i enjoyed myself a lot too; wrote a lot of self-indulgent fic and fics for friends, so i’m happy about that. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted at the start of the year? Did you get into a new pairing/genre/fandom?

no one could’ve warned me about the deep spiral i would enter mid-2023: formula 1. i’ve never really been heavily in any fandoms beyond k-pop (except for my years of being a one direction and 5sos fan), but—race car drivers? no way. i could have never ever predicted that. 

shoutout to infrequencies for being the main influence behind my vroom-vroom obsession. love you lots, friend ♥ 

genre-wise though, i don’t think anything was too surprising. i became questionably obsessed with the concept of friends with benefits (4 fics with that tag this year), and then, again, writing a formula 1 au was pretty unexpected. i wrote more post-apocalyptic aus, which, will i ever get away from them? truthfully: probably not, which is more than okay with me. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

i’m currently writing this out at the beginning of december, and i still have one Big wip i hope to finish by the end of the year. and if i do, that’ll be my favorite, probably. it’s the longest thing i’ve put my mind to this year, and it’s my current obsession-ship: maxiel. 

update (december 31): tell me if you want me too is indeed my favorite and officially posted! 

other than that, though, i’d say the end is always the same series is probably my favorite. go figure, it’s a post-apocalyptic au series. but aside from that, i really enjoyed fleshing out the universe in which jun, wonwoo, and mingyu lived it, loved writing all of the tiny, tragic backstories for each of the side characters too. part of me hopes to write more for that universe, but we’ll see. 

honorary mention (because it tore me to pieces while writing it and i’m proud it came to light, in the end): over again. the responses to this fic, too, really made me love it more; i’m extremely grateful. 

Did you take any writing risks this year?

less than last year, that’s for sure. i did join the two fic fests i was most scared of though: olymfics and ficmix. those were the two most challenging fics for me this year—but i did it! 

also, posting fics in a new fandom was scary. especially when i wasn’t sure how the responses would be. thanks motorsports friends, y’all have been extremely kind ♥

Events you participated in this year?

only two this year, which is far less than what i did in 2022. olymfics (over again) and ficmix (time will tell). 

Biggest source of inspiration this year?

freaks being freaks. but also, friends! i wrote fics specifically to ruin my dear friends this year, and they also gave me ideas that gave me such intense brainrot, that i couldn’t put my laptop away until i finished writing. 

also these two:

Is there a character you've really enjoyed writing this year?

looking back at my most-written character: wen junhui. which, honestly, is surprising. not that i didn’t expect to write jun, ever, but i didn’t expect him to be so prevalent in my works, especially ship-wise. 

for formula 1: lando norris. i simply can't escape him. i need to burrow into his brain and live there. 

Do you have any general writing goals for the new year?

mostly, just to keep writing. next year is going to be a lot busier for me as i finish my senior year in college, start an internship, possibly move, etc., but i don’t want to stop writing. i enjoy it so much, find so much calm and happiness in it, so i hope i’m able to continue making all of my favorite guys kiss. 

finishing some of my abandoned wips would be a bonus; bittersweet, i’m looking at you. 

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story (or scene!) of this year:

god… i don’t know? i think splinters of time is my most well-written fic and the plot is also beyond surface level, unlike most of what i wrote this year. i’d like to say over again, but i’m still struggling to love that fic and its entirety. 

*whispers* i think the maxiel long fic i’m working on with probably steal the crown 

My most popular story of this year:

this is surprising: lookin’ at me all— i’m happy about this, lookin’ at me all— was one of the fics i had the most fun writing, and for a pairing i really enjoy. i actually started this fic in my hotel during the austin grand prix weekend after watching the most brain-melting mclaren content video i have ever seen. big shoutout to oscar for looking at lando with heart-eyes and an expression that read: i’m willing to risk it all. love you, buddy. 

Longest story of the year:

tell me if you want me too, at 19k currently. i did not expect to write something so long this year honestly, but it's crazy what pushing two once-teammates together who can't act normal around each other will do to you.

Shortest story of the year:

i have what you want, at 1.2k. it’s pwp. of course it’s short.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

time will tell, but also, that’s to be expected with a fic written about a rare pair. although, the author i wrote it for (it was a remix!) loved it, which is all that really matters, in the end. i’m really thankful i got the opportunity to add to such a beautiful universe and story, and i’m—now—happy with the outcome of the fic. 

Most fun story to write:

i already talked about lookin’ at me all— so i will say: i find it dizzying. i was inspired by mingyu’s big stature boobs and also a long-term seokgyu brainrot. everyone in the fic was absolutely ridiculous and i enjoyed every single minute of writing it. 

Story that needed the most research:

riles me right up but mostly, that was because it was my first f1-related fic. i had to research all of the terminology, race things, etc. although, i’ve done a ridiculous amount of research for the maxiel long fic i’m currently writing, but mostly, to get canon timeline and facts correct and again: more f1 terminology. 

 

Story with the single sexiest moment:

in my opinion, lando tugging the fuck out of carlos’ hair in hands on. i simply could not get the thought of carlos’ big, stupid brown eyes looking up at lando, while on his knees, for weeks. months, even. then i had him go the extra mile and suck on lando’s fingers, so, yeah. 

although, the lando onlyfans fic has received a Lot of love (for its sexy bits).

Story with the single cutest/sweetest moment:

insert: daniel post-surgery after breaking his wrist and max doing his absolute best to be a dotting, caregiving boyfriend in symptom relief. max really is just trying, and daniel loves him for it. 

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: 

*scratches head* well, i kind of made jun a figure of wonwoo’s imagination for the entirety of splinters of time. i also killed off so many people in that fic. oops. 

Hardest story to write:

over again. i challenged myself by combining disbandment, miscommunication, a past-complicated relationship, and future fic, all in one. they also did not physically interact for 95% of the fic, which—why did i do that to myself? i’m still not sure. while writing this fic, i really didn’t want to put the blame of the relationship's downfall solely on either of them, so i struggled a lot with keeping the tone neutral. i nearly abandoned this fic a few times; i have an entire first draft that is completely different, and then another doc full of scenes that never made it through. 

Biggest disappointment:

bittersweet was The Fic that cured this awful, icky feeling i had about writing at the beginning of the year. i spent so much time planning it out, both in words and in my head—there’s so, so much i want to do with it. but it’s almost like posting the first chapter made it impossible to keep writing. i have barely touched it since, have about 6k words sitting in the doc with three of the scenes only half-finished. i’d like to finish it, eventually, i just simply can’t bear to look at it, for some reason. maybe more time will help, maybe not. we’ll see. 

update (december 31): i have started to poke at the bittersweet doc again (thank you wren <3) and i think the ending could be soon.

Biggest surprise:

what surprised me the most is joining a new fandom: formula 1. i can’t believe i’m here, but i would not wish to be anywhere else. both writing about my vroom-vroom boys and interacting with other f1 fans has been so, so nice. 

Favorite Opening Line(s):

Jeonghan often gripes about Seungkwan’s sleeping habits, huffing out quiet, midnight-spoken complaints against Seungkwan’s pillowcase, eyes growing heavy as he passes into sleep with a “you always—” on his tongue.

— from a mix of light pink and me 

The van smells like every hour of the day.  

— from show me how 

Favorite Closing Line(s):

When Wonwoo pulls away, that look—the one Jihoon saw back in the break room, just a few weeks ago—is back. Wonwoo’s bedside table lamp isn’t bright enough to put a glimmering reflection in 

Wonwoo’s eyes. But something is.

— from bittersweet (chapter 1)

For now, this is enough. Later can come when it does.

 

Seungkwan decides, with Joshua in his arms, that he’s never letting go again.  

— from over again 

Favorite lines from anywhere:

His lips are chapped and cracked, dried over with blood from how often he tugs at them, worrying the skin with his teeth. Junhui scolds him for it and says Wonwoo tastes like metal, has a rougher kiss. He makes sure to kiss Junhui slowly, as carefully as he can, not to cut Junhui’s lips with his own. 

— from splinters of time 

In apartment 532, there are the soft sock-clad putters of Junhui’s feet against the wooden floorboard; a squeak that wheezes from an uneven plank that lays right behind Junhui’s tattered, thrifted green couch. It’s got character, Seungcheol, Junhui always says, smiling brightly as he pushes cotton stuffing back into a hole in the cushion. 

Seungcheol presses his thumb into the wheel of his lighter, spins it. Waits, watching as the flame cherries the end of his cigarette, paper crinkling and sizzling. Pulling away with an inhale, still pressing down—the flame spins where Junhui normally stands on his own balcony. Center-stage, warm skin shining bright and distracting. Enticing and dangerous. 

— from cherry 

Daniel snorts out a laugh, nose scrunching. The lights dip into his skin, sliding into the crease of the wrinkles Daniel didn’t have when Max first met him, many years ago. Max has never thought that the folds make Daniel look older—just that he’s had a lot to smile about, face working around the wide spread of his teeth and mouth. 

Daniel always jokes that he’s getting old, but Max just thinks he’s lived a happy life.

— from glowing with uncertainty

Looking back at 2022:

this year was really, really hard for me! i struggled with a lot of internal conflicts, as well as a lot of changes, and self-discovery that i have pushed away and ignored for far too long. i started off 2023 being fearful that i wouldn’t find joy in writing again and that it wouldn’t be an outlet for me as it had been the previous year. but, in the end, writing was one of the few consistent sources of happiness for me this year. i wrote what i wanted to write and within that, i completed a lot of work i’m very proud of. i’m happy i was able to get exactly what i needed out of writing while going through a lot; the number of words may have been smaller this year, but that holds no weight when the words i produced are ones i like.